December172012
this is the hottest picture of all.

this is the hottest picture of all.

(Source: ruggedlyhandsome, via brutallymale)

August82012
April92012

if someone asks me if im gay

i might just say YES next time.

February262012

Clearing some things up..

In my last major post, I talked about a number of things that people have asked me about privately. I will attempt to further explain some of those claims.

Why I haven’t come out to my gay friend: I feel like “being gay” is his crisis arena. I feel that coming out to him, at least before I have told some other people and have established a good support network, would be like stepping into his turf. He is generally unhappy and negative about a lot of things and I am not. His issues come from being gay. While being closeted does make me anxious and at times sad, I would say that I am generally happy and present in life. I feel that he might resent that I am gay and happy (albeit closeted - a bit hypocritical I know) while he is gay and unhappy. Furthermore, I feel a duty to tell my family before anyone else, and then my best of friends (of which he is one) in order of length and depth of the relationship.

Why I haven’t come out period: This is complex, and not something that I am sure I can really explain fully. I guess, I dont really want to shake things up. I like my relationships with my family and friends. I like people seeing me as I am, without the knowledge that I am gay changing their opinion of me. I dont really think being gay changes who I am, in fact, I think it is a really small portion of who I am. Thus I don’t feel super pressured to tell anyone. On the other hand, I dont want anyone to “find out” before I tell them, which creates a dilemma because it means I should tell them. Until I tell them, I will have a hard time pursuing a relationship, having a life, etc…

So you want to come out but you haven’t? Exactly. I dont want to shake things up, but i know that i need to. I owe it to myself, I owe it to my family and friends. I just dont know where to start. Any suggestions (in private or not)?

7AM

hey have u told your friend yet?? i told my brother yesterday inadvertantly, wasnt planning on it, but it went well.

Well, the friend mentioned in the last post will definitely NOT be the first person I tell. There’s more to that story in a bit. Congrats on your bravery with your brother! Hope it continues to go well.

7AM

did this blog die? or just no time to post?

Ummm. No. I’ve just had a really hectic couple of weeks. I’ll still be here and will be more active when things calm down.

February132012

(Source: egosumanathema, via )

February122012
Is this too much to ask for?

Is this too much to ask for?

(via theright-track-deactivated20131)

10PM

Someone asked me about “how i deal with it”

so someone (i didnt want to out him if his blog is public) told me that he is in a similar situation to me and wanted to know how i deal with it. here’s my response:

ill be writing all of my background on this blog in the next couple days.

honestly, I’m hoping this blog can be a mechanism to deal with it. I’m fortunate to not really have to worry about my parents or sibling too much, so my fear is a different kind of fear. I’ll be writing about it soon.

with this friend of mine, i almost feel like telling him would mean i’m raining on his parade. I definitely do not want to tell him first. 

Keep in touch man. I’d love to get a dialogue going.

10PM
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